Volleyball Challange! - Vball

Yep. The name of this post is ouch. Now, can you imagine why? But first, allow me to recap the games. The Blockade didn't have one. Yea. They showed up, looked pretty, and didn't play. Apparently, the opposing team had some bus troubles on their way to the match. http://news.gsm32.com/wp-content/uploads/funny_bus_crash.jpg Needless to say, they were a little "cramped" (hahahahahaha) for time and couldn't make the match!

The other game pitted them V-Neck folks against the Blockade. Whooooopie, what a game! Serving aces and great volley's coupled with an outstanding, authoritative, and vocal ref, the game went down. Taking an early 1 game lead, the v-necks never looked back, crushing their serves, setting the ball, and spiking the daylights out of the opposing teams. Despite some great returns, the Blockade simply wasn't able to make-up for the spectacular play of the v-necks, notably the women on the team. (Simply put, they out-shined the men. Although, when you look at the guys, I mean literally look at them, one would understand that to out-shine them would be, well, less than difficult. No really, look. http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000544932160&sk=photos#!/photo.php?fbid=1210897842771&set=t.100000544932160&theater) But, interestingly, a source informed me that the v-boys policy, going forward, is, if you made a mistake, you were immediately nsubbed out. In other words, crappy players don’t get to play. Matt Hracho was off the court for SUBSTANTIAL periods of time. I’ll allow you to draw your own conclusions.

Now, the last game of the evening, was, well, exciting. The Ringers suffered their first loss of the season. It will surely be the last loss they suffer. Dan Paterno was quickly caught in a candid photo by our sport's photographer Justin Time, exhibiting his frustration and emotion with the loss. http://blog.ohwowforbusiness.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/crying-man.jpg Jess Kurtz had one heck of a game, despite a seriously questionable call by Ref, Dennis Kergick,.(Also - Because of his questionable calls, Mr. Kergick has been put on reffing probation and will have to report weekly to the co-commish, J. Kurtz. But more impressive was this candid photo of J. Kurtz's special project/secret weapon that was unveiled last night. http://cheezburger.com/View/1563986176 The weapon will be employed whenever the ringers feel that the other team is getting a little edgy.

But perhaps one of the most interesting moments of the evening occurred when Brandt Bowman, unprovoked (sorta) served a ball to an unsuspecting individual (granted, that individual literally said, “hey Brandt, hit me.”) and walloped that person in the head/chest area. It hurt. At least, it looked like it did. Wouldn’t know. It couldn’t possibly have been the author of this blog. Needless to say, Commish Walker indicated that Bowman will fine $0.25 and be tested for performance enhancing drugs from this date forward. In his official statement, Walker stated, “ Mr. Bowman has consistently demonstrated a constant disregard for the rules and regulations of this fine league. His insolence went one step further this evening, as it became apparent that a volleyball serve of 160 MPH is far in excess of the league average serve of 1.6 MPH, indicating his use of performance enhancing drugs. His violation will be met with severe punishment.” Immediately after releasing that statement, the leagues chief medical officer, Dr. Pepper, informed the Commish that Bowman passed all drug tests Commish Walker issued this retraction: “I apologize to Mr. Bowman. My bad. But he’s still too good. Therefore, he will be required to take a double dose of Nyquil before every game in order to level the playing field.” The Commish indicated that he previous comments and allegations were unlikely to be sanctioned by the league.

Whew. What a week. Check back next week for more.

Well, so a tradition began this evening with the first officially PSU-DSLIMSVA (Penn State University Dickinson School of Law IM Sports Volleyball Association) season. And. Well. Let's just say it was a great start.

In the early game, four teams came out swinging. (I told them this was volleyball, but for some reason Brandt Bowman really wanted to use a bat. I have no idea why.) In the first game, Kinky Sets dug in (get it?) against The Blockade. Dig after dig, block after block, serve after serve, a game was played. Quickly. Player of the Match was obviously Nads for a rousing U.S.A. chant that echoed through the rec center. (Then she was told to quiet down for fear of starting a riot). Despite the best efforts of Brandt to hand them the game (something about too much fun, couldn't handle the pressure...i don't know, the Blockade lost in two straight sets)

The second game between the Safe Sets and Block party was another great game. Perhaps the most interesting moment occurred when Ricky "The Serve" Lewis stepped up to the line and hit the ball. (served the ball? clubbed the ball? handled the ball? I don't know what the right terminology is) the crowd went wild, as, serve after serve, he pummeled his opponents. Lon Moore, after cutting through the players, had a chance to interview Ricky Lewis where he said that people should "be afraid. . . be very very afraid." Lon Moore nearly ran out of gas trying to get as far away from Ricky after the interview as possible. MVP of the night was Amanda Boylan. Just because.

Finally - the match of the week. The Ringers versus something about v-neck shirts. (I'm not even sure their team was on the same page with their team name. I mean, ou've got Westover who completely over committed to the V-neck idea juxtaposed with Ely Ross in a blue shirt [everyone else was wearing white] that was a mere lame attempt at something V-neckish.) Can you say, wow. Just a spectacular game. By Jess Kurtz. No one else realy matter because when she hit that ball over the net, this happened (to a man who shall not be named, Matt Hracho.) http://

Never mind that the video says the person's name is Nicholas. That's for security reasons.

Also don't mind the really crappy music. Also for security reasons.

Sideline reporter, Alex Blaine Layder, caught up with team member Dennis Kerkick, who, in an absolute state of shock was only able to say this: A man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement. Alex was unable to ascertain what this meant to Dennis, despite numerous attempts to contact him later in the evening.

All in all, what a wonderful evening. And now a new segment for the blog. Many people (all 4 who read this) have indicated they find my jokes to be, well, not funny. Therefore, in an effort to help them understand the true value of a good joke, I will be posting one joke with every blog. This week:

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Lawyer fresh out of a central PA Law School, "And what starting salary were you looking for?" The Lawyer said, "In the neighbourhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, a company matching retirement fund for 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every 2 years -- say, a red Corvette?" The Lawyer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?" And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

Last week's games will be played Wednesday (2/9). The regularly scheduled games (2/8) will be played that Tuesday (2/8).

Ladies and Gentleman!

Welcome to the next installment of THE BLOG for IM SPORTS! (Whoop Whoop!) Check back here next week for post game analysis and commentary provided by yours truly, me!

Additionally, the master schedule for all of the games is posted - feel free to join us for a night of entertainment and side line reporting provided by Gel E. Fishe as well as comprehensive statistical analysis by Brian Hokamp (hahahaha, yea, right. Does he even know how to add?!)

Also - please feel free to bring noise makers and entertaining signs to the games (nothing inappropriate....sorry Mike Mull - However, making fun of Matt Westover's hair is absolutely welcome. If you brought hair clippers, many would be thankful!)